Toorsday

I believe I have written before that I only write in my blog when things aren't going well. For once, this time, it isn't the case. Things are goo din my life at the moment. I'm living in Brisbane with cool roommates I get along with, and a sexy girlfriend who loves me. I'm writing because I think it is time to bring some structure into my life, and I think that keeping track of my life day by day is a healthy practice.

I quit smoking a couple of days ago. I was lying in bed at Gorgi's house, enjoying a post-coitus cigarette behind her white body and watching Entourage. Quitting was something I had been thinking about for a while, and while I was lying there, all worn out and happy, I noticed that the cast of Entourage didn't smoke and were still cool and happy. Now I don't equate smoking with happiness or coolness, at least not on a conscious level, but for some reason watc hing the boys smiling and having a good time was the catalyst I had been looking for. I though about the damage I was doing to my lungs. I thought about the nasty yellow liquid that comes off a cigarette when I leave one on a table and how much of that viscous yellow bile is building up inside my lungs. I thought about my sore throat and the flaky dry feeling inside my mouth. As these thoughts culminated, I took one last cancer filled drag, stubbed my last cigarette and uttered some last words "I quit."

I am no longer a smoker.

I have been thinking about playing poker professionally, but I am not seeing enough improvements in my game for this to seem like an attainable dream. Poker, unlike other things I've learned, doesn't give me reliable, immediate feedback. If I'm playing ping pong and I play a bad shot, I immediately know because I lost the point, and I can see where I went wrong. In poker, even if I make the correct play, I may lose the hand, or vice-versa. As much as skill is involved - so is luck. I am not going to drop my commitment. I will keep learning, and keep getting better.

A question which has been looping my mind recently is one of passion. What am I passionate about? What do I love so much that I am willing to devote my life to it? The only true answer is - I don't know. Here are the things I enjoy:

Poker
Guitar (especially performing)
Writing
Reading
Partying

Can I commit myself to poker?

Yes. I think I can. If I build patience and discipline, I can become a very successful poker player. I just have to commit, and be open to learning.

Can I commit myself to guitar?

Possibly. It is such an unknown to me what that life would be like. Because of that, I am a little frightened of following that path. There is a lot of uncertainty down that road, but perhaps that is exactly the kind of life I would enjoy.

Can I commit myself to writing?

Now this is the one I haven't ever tried to commit to. Or even tried. I haven't written any stories in years, but I am almost certain that I can. I will write a story in the next week. I commit myself to this.

Can I commit myself to partying? hell yeah!

That should do for now. Life is good. Gorgi isn't with me right now for the first time in aaaages. Feels good to have a bit of time to myself. Raaaaa.