Tuesday Twenty O Eleven

Life is good. Different to before, and in the most amazing way. I'm not quite riding the high I was last week, but as Phil predicted, the Landmark Forum has seeped beneath my skin and become assimilated into the fleshy meatbag known as Dan. Slight guilt for not writing, not calling G. It's been a great 5 days. Me and Al have been swooping on dunders like vultures in heat seeking fighter jets. I can feel myself growing. I can feel progress. It feels good.

Been spending more time with Robby, that wild haired jokester. He's fun to banter with. I seem to have lost the feeling of animosity towards what I previously perceived as threat behind his jokes. The Landmark Forums and my realisation of my daddy issues has really cleared up my sensitivity.

Lessons from Dunders: Go in strong and unapologetically. I've made big improvement in that area, but I still have far to go. Right now I'm putting my hand on their shoulder softly, but without hesitation. What I want to and will work towards and become is going fully in, arms around shoulders , no hesitation or apology, and then the eyes.

Lesson 2: If you get the make out, don't be too keen. Remember to play it cool, and be the one to break it off. I made out with some small dark haired uni hottie the other day and got a little excited. Up against the wall all skin and passion. Too much too soon. Although she probably just wanted a make out and that's it, so not necessarily my fault. But even if that was the case, for me to break it off would have left her open to chase. Lesson learned.

Lesson 3: Put bitches in their place. Two hotties ignored me in an impolite way. I was quite possibly being chode. In fact, almost certainly, but man, walking up to the two hottest girls in the club all alone, when you've seen them blow off 20 dudes in the last half hour can be tough. I'll take credit for having the balls :] Anyway, they ignore me. I'm a bit too soft, not assertive, and they ignore me, repeatedly. I lean into the hottest one's ear and whisper "one day you'll be old and ugly, and you'll have nothing left." Then I walk away.
Back on the dance floor I'm drunk and doing my thing when I see that the two have returned, and the one to which I whispered is eyeing me with the intensity of a Roman Goddess. I should have taken it and worked with it, but I was busy protecting my ego and the sense that "I won." Eventually she comes over, dancing, and Al pushes me into her. This is half an hour later, and has evidently been eating away at her. She leans in and says "I hope lead lead a boring life and die young." lol. Well hopefully that gave her some closure, and next time, with the help of retrospect, I shall close her.

Pen hooked me up with her friend Grete. She's nice and kinda cute, and had the mercy to take the profanity known as drunk Dan home. She's coming over tonight. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully we can get some part ins for the sake of Robby Ling.

Pen is losing her soul. The warmth which once made her glow is being sucked up by the corporate machine. In its place I see her only child entitlement and vindictive do anything to win nature creeping out like cancer. May god help her.

I am glad to be writing. Every so often a turn of phrase slips from my fingers and make me smile.