I keep flip flopping. I'm a flip flopper, like the worst kind of politician.

Riding my bike along the river seems to spawn epiphanies like a horny piranha.

I take myself too seriously.

I am at my worst when my ego takes over, which happens very, very easily. Give me a compliment and I'm the Cheshire Cat. Give me a number and my head will balloon for days. Then, when I fuck up, watch it pop and whirr as I doom spiral back to Earth.

I take myself too seriously.

I am meticulous in my consideration of how I am perceived. My brain is an impression factory. I do and don't do a million little things because of other's invisible gaze. The fact that people might read this taints it all.  I play my cards close to my chest. Why bother, really? Why waste your time cowering beneath the eyes of the masses? It's human, but it's ridiculous. I fall in love five times a day but there's this little squishy bit inside me I don't want anyone to see. It's all a joke. A big, silly joke. My feelings, my wins, my losses - the whole concept of 'my.' I don't exist. I think I do, but I don't. Illusion of self and such. The cause of all suffering.

I hereby open myself up to being the subject of ridicule. I give myself permission to be a whimsical, lovestruck idiot. I give myself permission to fail horrifically.