Madness and Motivation

An interview with the author of Jon Ronson from The Psychopath Test. http://blogs.crikey.com.au/literaryminded/


Well, I hope the rest of the day is calm. I was thinking, I mean at least for me, there's another side to this kind of anxiety that... I get myself into doing a lot of things because it's this agitaton. You know, you have this agitation to do things, to find out things. It's like there's two sides to it. So I was wondering if it's also one of the things that actually drives you to work as much as it also at times holds you back?


Absolutely, and I think that's probably the case an awful lot. I wouldn't give myself a particularly big disorder but, you know, people I know who do have big disorders - it can lead you to do really interesting, creative, worthwhile things. My guess actually is, pretty much every successful person is disordered in one way or another. It's all some kind of psychological abyss that they're trying to fill in.

You know I do think that the people who are very happy to just have a completely ordinary working life, where they don't have to earn that much but it's fine because their outgoing aren't that high, and they've got a nice routine, and they've got a happy family, and they've got a nice hobby on Saturday, they go to the football, you know... those are the people who are probably the sanest. Because they don't need to have this kind of mad scrabbling around. I'm a season ticket holder at the Arsenal and when I do that kind of routine thing I find it incredibly calming. It's the thing I like most about my life, the ordinary stuff. And yet, I'd bet you a million pounds that Richard Branson and all the really, really successful people feel compelled to be that way because of some kind of disorder, or anxiety. Yes, I wouldn't feel this oncstant need to sort of do things  if I wasn't so anxious.

xxx

Makes a lot of sense to me. The most motivated person I've met - my first girlfriend Gorgi - was driven impetuously by the desire to prove her mother's partner wrong. To be better than her and show her that she wasn't as worthless as she'd always made her out to be.

I've never felt much need to prove anything to my mother, as her love has always been unconditional. In a 'I'll love you no matter what,' kind of fashion. So in terms of academic or monetary success, I've never really worried much.

There is probably some kind of abscess in the world of women, however. Perhaps because of the scorn I received after dropping chocolates on my first 'girlfriend's' doorstep for valentines when I was 13. Or maybe the ensuing rejection from her best that I was totally in love with. I think Tyler had a theory that men's ability with women is often based upon their early experiences in the battlefield of romance, and in this case that theory would fit.

It's funny though, that as little drive as I have to be an academic success, there is still this notion of one day being something. Being a somebody. Having a job and a car that others will look at and go 'woooo.' The doing of society and media no doubt. I mean when you define it, really, a 'somebody' is a somebody with money or power, neither of which are very good indicators of happiness. From my perspective, I could consider my life a success if I went after the things I wanted with courage, was true to myself, and lived or at least tried my best to live by a code of ethics that I deem fit to be lived by. As I've probably said before, the things I hold sacred. in this willy nilly life, are connection, presence and beauty.

SO I MUST LIVE A LIFE OF CONNECTION PRESENCE AND BEAUTY. YEAH!